The Ugly Game of Comparing Ourselves
The comparison game. It has gotten to the best of us.
It starts early on in life.
I see parents constantly comparing their children to other children, often times comparing developmental milestones and parenting ways. The comparisons follow us to grade school disguised as honor roll and extracurricular activities. We get to high school and the comparisons look like cliques and college acceptance letters. Then we graduate college, we see our peers and what they have: the house, the dog, the kids, the job, the marriage. We start comparing our lives to their lives, their achievements to our achievements, and… well… we begin to loath our situations and question “why not me?”.
Do we even know what our peers had to sacrifice to get to where they are? Are we watching their reel clips or do we fully know their behind the scenes story?
The real question is “does anyone have any of this thing we call life figured out?”. The answer is HELL NO – we are all still sorting it out!
When we focus on others and what they have we lose focus on what we have. If we aren’t focused on our strengths and positive attributes, we can only see our weaknesses – what we lack. How can one be grateful if we don’t see our greatness?
It’s time to refocus, take life by the wheel and say “look – look at me. I am the captain now”.
I’m The Best
I’ve learned that there is no one in this world that is better than me. There is no one who is smarter, more creative, or even more successful than me.
We all co-exist in the same world. We all breathe the same air and we are all made of flesh and bones. Yet, with all of the similarities we possess we are different beings. We think, create, and define success differently. Our life paths are different and our journey’s are our own.
Therefore, I compare myself only to my highest self. The real task lies in being better today than I was yesterday and not worrying about how I’ll be tomorrow. I know if I make all of my “today’s” my best, my future is automatically secured.
This is not to say you cannot look up to others and take inspiration from them.
I take time to look toward people I admire – How did they get to where they are now? What’s their story? What are some of their practices and daily habits?
The reality is they put effort toward achieving the goals they set in life. No goal can be achieved without putting it in motion so they simply started.
Characteristics I’ve noticed about them are they are life long learners who utilize the tools and information acquired over their lifetime to make their goals become their reality. They don’t take “no” for a final answer. These people do their very best everyday, knowing that their best will become better with consistency and discipline.
Comparing where they are to where I am is a mistake; a disservice to myself. It discredits and how hard I work to get to where I am. At best, these observations inspire me to want to do better in my life, not have a pity party for myself.
After all: comparison is the thief of joy, and I am forever grateful for where I am now. I compare myself only to my highest self for my own personal growth and development.
My well-being is crucial for my growth and productivity. Today, my act of self care focused on “me” time. I got a chance to sit quietly and write down my thoughts, my ideas, my plan of action, and whatever else popped up into my head. I even got a chance to get started on some of my goals, breaking them down into small tasks and marking off the tasks as “done” once completed. It’s the little things!
Also, I used a picture from a few days ago as my quote image, but here I am today:
Clearly not as glamorous, but beautiful nonetheless.
Three questions I ask myself daily:
Are there areas in my life in which I can improve?
Am I willing to make changes to get to where I desire in life?
What can I do today to become a better version of myself?
Wanna join the Self Love Project?
Start here: Self Love Project 2018